Thread: Conundrum
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Old 01-30-2013, 09:06 PM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
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Originally Posted by Yumi View Post
I am confused as to what to do and how to approach this situation. My initial reaction is a big NO, because I feel disrespected and slightly taken advantage of given my nature of always helping people when they need it. I don't feel positive feelings towards her/B at the moment, because she has not been respectful of P and I's time together, at the same time - P allowed her to do this by not establishing healthy boundaries with her. On the other hand, I feel expected to continue to be awesome, because I like helping people out - and by saying no - it would cause problems.

I also feel.. whether rational or not.. and probably purely from an emotional standpoint. He is too busy this week to make time for me, yet not too busy to ask me to help move his girlfriend's furniture.
If saying no would cause problems, then...I'd say no, because it is what you'd like to say. If you always have it looming over your head that refusing something is going to be an issue, maybe getting it over with would be good. I don't know if you mean problems with P, or problems with B, but regardless, you don't want to be in a place where you don't draw good boundaries for YOURSELF. I'd also want to know how P treated me when I DID firmly enforce them.

Also moving is stressful. Once I helped a person move, not a close friend, who I was not wanting to spend time with, but felt obliged. Let's just say when you don't like somebody, and they start bossing you around about how to move their can get ugly, especially if it's going to be an all day task...

Do you feel comfortable letting P borrow your truck perhaps? If he has good insurance?

Lots of people have good advice about the positives that could come from you going ahead and helping too. I'm sure you'll take the path that is right for you!
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
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