Thread: Conundrum
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Old 01-30-2013, 08:29 AM
Yumi Yumi is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Oregon
Posts: 8
Default Conundrum

Has been awhile since I last posted. Summary: I am in a relationship with a male/P whom is poly and is married to a poly female/S. This last November P got into a new relationship with a poly female B, which has essentially turned into a dual primary relationship with S and B. There has been an adjustment period, and we've had our struggles which we have gotten over. For the time being. I had felt that he had not established healthy boundaries with his new girlfriend B, to where she was being allowed to effect my relationship with P, as well as his relationship with S. He finally realized this after me having to bring it up on multiple occasions. Specifically when P and I would have our date nights, B would be allowed to interrupt them by coming over and staying the night, or extending her stay if she was already at his house.

Basically he told me that she doesn't care whether or not she effects his other relationships, and if she wants to do something with him - she thinks she has full reign because they have a relationship.

She was in a triad and their family decided to split ways roughly two weeks ago, and so she will be moving into P and S's house this weekend.

The last two weeks or so, P has told me that I have been awesome - because S and B have been having dramatic moments.. and he is thankful that our relationship is good and comfortable.

Well, earlier tonight we were trying to work out a night this week to get together.. conflicting and busy schedules that we both have.

Then he asked me if I would help him/P and her/B move furniture - since I have a truck capable of moving furniture.

I am confused as to what to do and how to approach this situation. My initial reaction is a big NO, because I feel disrespected and slightly taken advantage of given my nature of always helping people when they need it. I don't feel positive feelings towards her/B at the moment, because she has not been respectful of P and I's time together, at the same time - P allowed her to do this by not establishing healthy boundaries with her. On the other hand, I feel expected to continue to be awesome, because I like helping people out - and by saying no - it would cause problems.

I also feel.. whether rational or not.. and probably purely from an emotional standpoint. He is too busy this week to make time for me, yet not too busy to ask me to help move his girlfriend's furniture.
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