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Old 01-29-2013, 05:46 PM
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Vixtoria Vixtoria is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 306

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post

No where has Marcus said "I disagree with monogamy and marriage, so obviously the solution to your problem is to get divorced and become non-monogamous." He has merely questioned your assumptions about marriage and partnership. Why does that make you so insecure that you need to try and shut him up? Do you deny that it's at least theoretically possible that you could grow apart as individuals?

First of all, isn't it absolutely ridiculous how when someone disagrees or does not just automatically accept another's opinion they must feel insecure or threatened? Should I assume everyone who is disagreeing with poly is insecure about it? Same with sexuality? Come on, that was a childish move and you know it.

No one is denying that we grow as individuals in different directions. No two people are going to be the same. Even if they are both religious it doesn't mean it's in the same way or speed. That's not the point. For those of you consistently missing the point here's the simple version of it.

We are two people, we have, however, decided that we want to share our lives. We get that it makes life a bit more difficult at times, especially when one of us is hitting a 'growth spurt' of any kind. We get that others dont' necessarily agree with our decision to be married or continue our relationship. It's a null point, THAT decision has been made. So any advice that starts with, "Well that decision you made? Undo it and THEN you can make others" is not going to work for us.

You can keep explaining your POV but if we've already said, or decided, that isn't going to work for us, what good does it do to keep hammering people with it? We are open to any advice, and discuss it between the two of us. It does not, however, mean that we MUST take every thing everyone says under advisement. If something is easily dismissed as not working for us, then that's our choice. Calling us 'insecure' isn't going to change that. Any more than telling someone they are insecure about the openness of poly or non monogamy is going to stop them from wanting monogamy.
Me: 40 pansexual poly.
DH: My husband of 21 yrs and father of 3 teen girls.
DC: LDR of +9 years/former

Last edited by Vixtoria; 01-29-2013 at 05:49 PM.
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