I'm glad Sweetie is doing the honorable thing. It's pretty hard to be very rational when you're in the grips of NRE, because it's sort of seduces you into that mindset of loving the fantasy, hating the reality, and coming up with lots of reasons not to try to make things work.
Of course, ultimately, you're both going to have to work at the marriage if you want it to succeed. It's sad that sometimes the only thing that jolts someone into action of working on issues is the direct threat of divorce. But that's the reality. Sort of like how sometimes only a heart attack will convince someone to change their unhealthy ways. It's a painful and scarring way of getting you off your butt and working on things. But many couples do recover after being close to divorce, albeit with a lot of work.
That decision is up to both you AND your hubby. It may take a trip to a lawyer to talk about your rights to make hubby realize you're serious. It may "jolt" him into agreeing on marriage counselling. But only do MC if you're serious about wanting it to work. And that's the danger of the NRE I keep referring to. Why would anyone want to work on a marriage, with all it's responsibilities, when they have the fantasy to run off to and take them away from all that?