Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat
"No, you can't go out and drink beers with your buddies. You've been working late all week and our daughter needs her daddy to tuck her in tonight."
I'll admit, that made me throw up in my mouth a little.
I understand that there are things that need to be taken care of. Certainly when a dependent is involved someone is going to have to take care of its needs. When volunteering for the job of caring for a dependent one volunteers to taking on some responsibilities to one degree or another.
This is not the same as determining the other persons level or style of involvement. If I have volunteered to help raise a child with IV I could see her mentioning "The little tike could benefit from more of your time" and leaving it up to my discretion to work that out. That is far different from her giving me an order "No you cannot do what you want this evening, you need to go tuck in your child". One is recognizing that I am not an employee to be bossed around and the other is, well, treating me like an employee and bossing me around.
When people are cohabitation there are lots of concessions, tons of those little things that someone needs to take care of. The hope is that a rhythm can be discovered where each person takes care of the things they find the least irritating. As far as a child, it needs what it needs. Everyone involved has to take care of these needs and hopefully each person chooses to apply themselves to the task accordingly.