Life carries on. I am so in love with myself right now. I am LOVING the time I have created to do nothing but bond with myself. Every moment has become a "me" moment. Whether I am with someone or not.
Self love really does pull a person through. Its just a matter of stopping; grounding in my body; turning my focus on me and acting from a place that nurtures me and no one else. Its kept me somewhat separate somehow from people I am with but in that seperateness I have found wholeness, love and closeness with my self. I have found energy to give again and still hjave something left for me.
This feeling is fresh to me and its fragile. Some incidences have knocked me off course back into paranoia, doubt, depression and fear about Mono and others, but I have managed to address them right away. In doing so I have gained composure by being given reassurance. Without reassurance I don't think I could of found composure again though and that is where I need to work. I need to be able to refocus and find my ground without any help from anyone. I wasn't give reassurance from Mono these last months and I want to be sure if I ever find myself in a situation where I ask for that again and don't get it that I can be safe and secure for myself and by myself.
I've spent time catching up with my loves this last week. All of them are so lovely and I love them.
My heart feels warm and grateful. Its at peace again for now.