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Old 01-29-2013, 04:23 AM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552

Okay. Thank you for answering my question.

I wonder how your views on living by right versus living by permission are affected when both or all parties are responsible for children. For myself, I can't see anything as clear cut as a right v permission dichotomy, because I do not have sole say in how I spend my time. There are kids to take care of, and in my agreement to have and raise these kids I waived my "right" to certain things. I don't feel that I'm asking MC for permission, exactly, but I absolutely DO ask him if minds being single parent for an evening while I go out (whether it's with my friends or my partner or whatever). Because we agreed to raise these kids TOGETHER, we necessarily have to come to agreements about how time is spent TOGETHER. So we are certainly not trying to control each other, but neither are we autonomous.

Though I don't know if dividing polyamory further is such a good idea, in discussions like this I find myself wondering if it'd be beneficial to differentiate between "Solo Poly" and "Family Poly". Not that "Family Poly" would necessarily depend on having kids together (or at all), but I do think the relationship needs of a solo poly person are often fundamentally different from the relationship needs of people attempting to create/build/maintain a family (however that family is configured).
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
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