Originally Posted by elliewith3
Hi I'm Ellie and sort of new to this. A little history so you can understand. My husband and I have been married for 10+ years and I found out 3 weeks ago that he had a relationship with my cousin/best friend who was living with us. He told me that he feels he is a polyamorist and that he loves us both. Right now I am still trying to wrap my head around this. Has anyone else been in a situation close to mine and how did you handle it?
Your cousin comes to live with you and he cheats with her and then expects you to be hunky dory with it in short order?
Oh, hell, no!
I see you made her leave. That's a good start.
He's got a lot to do to attend to the damage from the cheating. The question now is whether you're going to stand up for yourself and demand he take responsibility or if you're going to lay down like a good doormat.
I hope you show spine, myself.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.