Hi Gala Girl*
Im working off an iPhone and I don't think I can highlight specific sentences/questions to answer...Hopefully your quoted questions followed by my attempts to answer will make sense. I'll try to clarify:
"Does that mean that in your polyship arrangements, there is the standard of reciprocity? That in this polyship, all the people are free to date others?" *Answer~Absolutely the people in my life are free to date, and love whoever they want. *However I am protective and would say something if I thought a metamore was not treating my intimate well.
"And at this time, you are the Shared Sweetie person. And you are good with that part of it. But you are not sure you are ready to be a metamour to whoever your polyship people date? If that is the case, there is no double standard. The standard is the expectation of reciprocity. It applies to all." Answer~I suppose I am the shared 'sweetie person' and I am good with that. However if my intimates want to have others in there lives they know they are completely free to do that. *I want them to be happy, and if that entails having other relationships I would never stand in the way. The problem is I would be... fearful... that I would loose them to another. *I may be concerned about loosing the joy they bring to me, but I would not stand in their way.
"That you are ready for one leg of it (being the shared sweetie yourself), and not the other (sharing your sweetie with another) -- that's personal readiness in two different areas. Could this help? esp the page 5 and page 6 things?" Answer~ I have shared my intimates with others and have evolved from a being physically sick at the thought of them being with another, *to helping one of them with transportation so she could spend time with one of her new friends, I've also bowed out in the middle of a date so that she could help her good friend (sometimes lover) when he was going through a difficult time. *I also am encouraging a long distance intimate to partake in poly meet-n-greets and hopefully a lucky guy will catch her eye. Despite me wanting her to be gloriously happy I'm concerned I will loose her to another, but I would not stand in her way.
"Unless you mean that in your polyship there are two standards at play:
1) YOU get to have 2 sweeties or more.
2) Your sweeties do NOT get to date others... just you." Answer~ I would not want to deprive them of happiness. *They absolutely can date others, I just get stomach 'flip-flops'... As my Rock refers to them when I talk to her about it. *
Hopefully that clarifies things....*