Wow. You've got a lot on your plates.
First of all, you seem quite sanguine your husband had a 3 year affair. Some people would be near suicidal to get that news. I guess you kinda knew, kinda didn't care? Oh well, he got lonely on the road. la di dah? And you say your female friend is insecure that your husband is off being intimate with his mistress/gf... do either of you now have trouble trusting him now you know he cheated for 3 years?
Secondly, embarking on polyamory is hard enough when people try to do a triad. That is, usually, a straight guy, his bi female partner and another bi female. And here you all are, 2 men, 2 women, women kissing each other, each woman sexual with 2 men, and the men are friends.
Add in, the "other woman" from out of town is now your husband's accepted girlfriend!
It is so much easier to "do poly" when a single, or 2 members of a couple, date whoever they like but don't try to share partners. But here you are.
Your husband's out of town ex-mistress might have always been jealous of you. Now she may be jealous of his newer gf as well.
Meanwhile you're back at the ranch, perhaps jealous of both your husband's gfs, and he's jealous of your bf, and the wife in your couple is jealous when her h shags you, and maybe you're jealous of both your gf and your husband when they shag each other!
Oh, are you and the wife of the couple having relations or are you sticking to being "straight" despite the kiss? Is she straight as well?
And then you've got a bunch of toddlers running around all through this confusion... Good luck!
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
There's no lying in polyamory!
I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)
Last edited by Magdlyn; 01-29-2013 at 01:58 AM.