Helo-not to be difficult-but none of your points contradicts mine. In fact-if anything they back my point up.
When someone DOES speak out against abuse they experience or witness-the community needs to react with support and investigation. Not by crucifying the complaintant.
As for the abuser, no one is saying they should be ostracized and ignored either. Only that they should be stopped. Not have their behavior encouraged by our unwillingness to step in when someone "airs their dirty laundry".
"Love As Thou Wilt"