Originally Posted by Helo
What we have now is pretty warped in terms of fulfilling human happiness and not encouraging some of the negative tendencies in humans. I would call that form of monogamy regressive, easily.
I don't disagree (big surprise) but I would say the point could be better expressed by avoiding using "polyamory" and "monogamy" as the subject of the discussion. 1) because it is imprecise and 2) because it makes it too easy to distract from the actual topic. It is an idea I have been struggling with putting into words since I came onto these boards.
The issues described in the article with monogamy are rampant in non-monogamous relationships as well. That is because the unenlightened aspect of these relationships is not related how many partners a person is allowed to have within the rules. It's the fact that there are rules governing how the people involved may spend their time, experience their emotions, use their bodies, and so on. It's the fact that these people are not respecting each other as independent and autonomous adults.
This surrender of independence constant power struggles which follow would appear to be the root of most of the chaos I see in all of the relationships I've ever been exposed to. So, in having a discussion about the merit of one relationship approach to another I find the more relevant conversation to be comparing living by right versus living by permission.