I am having trouble understanding...
How I can care for more than one and have each one be so wonderfully meaningful and not take anything away from the others, yet question that same concept with these people I care so much about?
Does that mean that in your polyship arrangements, there is the standard of reciprocity? That in this polyship, all the people are free to date others? And at this time, you are the Shared Sweetie person. And you are good with that part of it. But you are not sure you are ready to be a metamour to whoever your polyship people date? If that is the case, there is no double standard. The standard is the expectation of reciprocity. It applies to all.
That you are ready for one leg of it (being the shared sweetie yourself), and not the other (sharing your sweetie with another) -- that's personal readiness in two different areas. Could this help?
esp the page 5 and page 6 things?
Unless you mean that in your polyship there are two standards at play:
1) YOU get to have 2 sweeties or more.
2) Your sweeties do NOT get to date others... just you.
Then it would be a double standard. But assuming they have voluntarily signed up to be here in polyship with you, they know that's what they have signed up for here. So presumably they are good with it. Are people in your polyship unhappy with the agreements? What are the agreements they are not happy with? Did they not know what they signed up for here?
In general, I would have a hard time with double standards. I would want to know what I'm getting into and signing up for before agreeing to be there in polyship. But feeling ok being shared and needing time to be ok sharing -- I totally could see that. It's two different areas of relating.