More to Mr FarFromRight: I'm going to combine my response to points B)., C)., & D). together;
First to address Hubby's extramarital activities. Yes, you are correct in what his are. The strip clubs were only during the time he was at one place of employment. For whatever reason a specific ethnic group expected it when they bought from the company. Hubby was the most senior person whose wife wouldn't throw a hissy fit. Though I'm sure he enjoyed himself. As for if there was anything besides what he told me, I don't have any reason to believe he has - nor any suspicion that he has.
Next, to address me and Sweetie. Yes, both of us want to have a more physical relationship. I don't know where you got the impression he and I have had oral sex; the most that has gone on between us is some heavy duty kissing, with no clothes off and no hands under clothes. And any form of sex, other than a few kisses, is off limits according to Hubby.
Point E). NRE: I actually lurked on this forum for about a month and a half before posting my introduction. During that time I also read thru a lot of the suggested articles. As much as I don't want to admit it, NRE is probably partly to blame for some of our problems right now. About Sweeties faults, I have seen some - they're not terrible -and I'm sure he has others. But everyone has faults, and I'm old enough not to be so naive as to think he won't have any. As for his intentions, I know he cares about me and loves me. I know, based on private conversations, that he refuses to be in a position of being the reason Hubby and I divorce, and the reason he feels so strongly about that.
Point G). : g) SOMETIMES "I love him so much" means "I need him: I´m not strong enough to stand on my own feet".
At one time not long ago, that would have been a true statement. Now though it isn't, I'm actually stuck between do I still love him enough to stay or do I need to leave because our relationship is too broken.
Feel free to make comments if you like. Thanks for all you gave me to think about.