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Old 01-28-2013, 02:35 PM
MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ping-ponging around Europe, trying to get a publishing concern off the ground
Posts: 718

Is a diagnosable mental illness a red flag for you?
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
To answer my own question:

Yes, IF
A the person afflicted has not sought any treatment or kept up with treatment in the last year
B us being together and/or being poly has for the last two years objectively made them worse
C if their condition is very similar to mine, involves a lot of mood swings and shifts in identity
D they are using drugs and alcohol to self-medicate
Oh, BlackUnicorn, over the years Ive appreciated your input on this board so much, and when I read this I thought: "A friend is going through rough shit!" A later comment from you indicates that you have your own mental issues to deal with.
I have a score of hard to manage mental conditions atm, but I been told that they should lessen considerably or disappear entirely after two years.
and I havent finished reading the whole thread [yet] so Im not sure which direction youre coming from, whether youre considering red-flagging someone for whom you have strong feelings; someone who cares for you is considering red-flagging you; or both. Perhaps its just as well: not knowing makes us give an unbiased answer. But before reading further I first wanted to send you this
Now to get to your questions: After years of being conversant with the term bi-polar and a whole life of having depressive spells, I finally (years ago) had the courage to admit to myself that I - in fact - am bi-polar. I dont get violent, my friends cherish me as I am, as far as I know nobody else suffers because of my condition, I hate the idea of meds (when there are alternatives and in my case Im convinced that there are... and they work).

I used to think that I always fell in love with the most amazing people. And, of course, they WERE/ARE amazing. But once an old, old friend of mine made a comment: "Js found another of his broken-winged girlfriends." That made me stop and think about it, and I had to accept that she - too - was right. So - to finally get around to answering your question - maybe I dont see the red flags. Or maybe Im colour-blind and see the flags as green (and shimmering). I can empathise with
Originally Posted by KyleKat View Post
I am typically drawn to people with "issues". I don't know why it is, but I always have been. It should be a red flag, but my nature is to help everyone I can "get better" and even though I'm not at all equipped to do that, I still try.

I'm not really sure what our responses are supposed to be here, but my short answer is "no".
I do think that Id steer clear (romantic/sexual/partner-wise) from somebody who had REALLY serious problems, problems that stood a good chance of destroying me emotionally. But even some of the amazing people have had a good shot at doing that.
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