Originally Posted by nondy2
I guess THAT's what I'm really struggling with. Do people in open relationship[s expect/teach their kids to have that too?
I'm not a parent but I wanted to comment. I think honesty really is the best policy when it comes to a parent teaching their child.
If you have some set rules that something like porn isn't allowed, then try to come up with a plan with your son on how that plan can be followed through. What happens if his friend at school brings a porno out? I just think if he is part of the planning process in how to meet expectations that are set for him you can empower him to be self responsible for his own actions. Don't focus on that he lied to you or has hidden things from you. Figure out with him how that not happen in the future. And what he needs from you to make that happen.
Your own relationship(s) and actions are a model for your son, even if you try to keep some things private how you act is always an example for him. You can be honest that the type of relationship you were taught growing up isn't how your life turned out...or even how you think you wanted to turn out. Instead of trying to tell him which path to take, help him be able to educate himself and empower himself when he encounters all the possiblities of any kind of mature topic. Relationship-Share someone said (I'm on a mobile device or I'd go back and quote them, sorry). Because there is your own experience of your body and sexuality and then there is sharing that with someone else. You had to experience that yourself choosing a Poly lifestyle to meet your needs, which means you had to teach yourself along the way, just as your son will have to teach himself.
Most of my experience mentoring youth come from people 13-18 at a local youth center. Usually I get to see the end product of a teenager who had no support from their parents, or were afraid/uncomfortable talking with their parents.