Boring Guy-I happen to agree with you on that example as well.
Marcus-there's a whole thread regarding the lead-in to the details that spawned my post-which is a vent in that it was triggered by my frustration in watching our local poly group crucify someone for standing up and requesting help in stopping the emotional abuse of a partner by a fellow (not dating partner) member of the group.
The leaders of the group and the loud-mouths of the group called him out for saying anything because personal problems should be kept personal. Even though the post did not speak ill of the person who was doing the abuse-only noted the xyz verifiable actions=harassment and stalking (by the laws in our area) and that the behavior was causing serious emotional and mental health issues for-me specifically.
Anyway-the problem of the abuse has been resolved (thank you to legal avenues and my personal knowledge and willingness to use them).
However-it galls me to think that we allow abusers to get away with abuse by refusing to acknowledge that abusive behavior negates the right to privacy-therefore negating the right to throw the privacy card out there when someone speaks out against abuse.
It's prevalent-I've seen it in numerous situations (when I wasn't the victim of abuse) and it frustrates me that people who I believe have good intentions-don't take the time to consider how their "problems of the family stay in the family" attitudes play into huge abuse issues for many.
My particular situation was relatively easily resolved due to my extensive knowledge of my legal rights and having a good support network.
However, many people who are in abusive situations lack that knowledge and network. If they actually get up the courage to speak out against their abuser, or against their friend/loved ones abuser-they NEED to be heard, acknowledged and supported. Not attacked for speaking out.
Obviously-there are some who will take advantage. But really, checking into allegations of abuse doesn't mean you have to condemn someone who turns out innocent. Ignoring allegations of abuse can easily result in more damage and destruction than anyone could reasonable call acceptable in order to retain privacy.
"Love As Thou Wilt"