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Old 01-27-2013, 11:27 PM
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BreatheDeeply BreatheDeeply is offline
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: NewSouthWales&California
Posts: 62

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post

There’s a lot of people who are against “airing dirty laundry”. These people think its best to keep personal issues within the bounds of the people directly involved.

This precept of privacy is precisely what creates the dream environment for abusive behavior. People who are abusers, thrive in this environment. They can do whatever they want to another person and get away with it-because society is promoting that the abused should “not air dirty laundry”, they should “respect the privacy of everyone involved” and deal with any issues within the confines of the relationship…. Right-so they should stop the abuse by discussing it with their abuser?

We have absolutely NO RIGHT to ignore the complaint.

I've excerpted parts of your post above that I want to emphasize.

Right now, there is NO conscious effort to make the environment that we live in even remotely tolerant of public condemnation of abusers. We're not even close to talking about this subject as a mature society. And even those who want to air abuse, if they are 3rd parties, do not because they know they are subjecting the victims to being victimized twice. It's a win-win for the criminals.

It stems from viewing people as property, a cultural rule that still persists that if you are treated like an object, it's because you are an object in the eyes of the perp.

I'll go one step farther, as I do, and say that citizens of western countries view women and children in an objectified manner. What are beauty pagents? What stereotypes exist to maintain the illusion that women must be pursued sexually by men? How many places in the world deal in child slavery (which allows westerners to ignore the culture of abuse because its better then a culture of slavery).

These ideas march on into our modern day lives like Neanderthals roaming around in modern cities. It's completely incongruous that they exist in a society so advanced in other ways.

And it's not just silence that perpetrates it, it's OPEN falsehoods about women and rape made by politicians and broadcast widely.

ALL these patriarchal ideas we've inherited from our history have to be purged before there is any real change in the perception of airing dirty laundry.

So if you're silent, if you don't condemn those who insinuate that it's the victims fault, then yes you are perpetrating a continued crime. Even going on Twitter or FB goes a long way compared to most. Everyone should feel pressure to say something publicly.

Take the risk of thinking for yourself, much more happiness, truth, beauty, and wisdom will come to you that way. - C. Hitchens

Me: Male, bi, 48, flexible
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