Thank you everyone, everything said here was helpful.
GalaGirl, you were able to boil it down so simply!
I do value honesty but I don't feel like it's the time to bring this into the open yet. Too early. Also in general I do reserve the right to a private life. For the time being, little is actually 'happening" with my old flame. So it's my thing to stew over and play with for a while.
What do people here think of emotional affairs? The mainstream seems to define them as an insideous form of cheating, something absolutely intolerable. Most websites talk about it like it's a sign of inadequacy in one's relationship instead of acknowledging that part of being alive is meeting people you click with. I certainly had one with this dude 5 years ago, and it could easily become that again. Sexually frustrating things those are! But wrong? I have all kinds of conversations with regular friends that I wouldn't share with a boyfriend, that isn't considered cheating! But if I like a guy, well! Get the marriage counciller!