I agree with Marcus.
DADT to me means secret.
There is a huge difference between a secret and privacy.
I'm not interested in details about sex and I don't need them.
But other partners aren't secret. The exciting "we had so much fun on xyz date" stories are enjoyable-because they are happy.
If you can't handle hearing about the other person's love-there's an issue. But that's not to say that one needs to talk nonstop about their other love or that they need to share personal details.
Additionally-I think it's important that new partners know what levels of privacy they can expect.
We are still struggling through leftover drama from LAST January because a potential thought that her every word was kept private from me (by my dh). When in fact, we both have free access to each others phones, email accounts etc. We rarely USE that access-but we don't keep secrets.
So when she started talking shit about me-I was WELL AWARE.
She felt that since she was talking shit TO HIM-then it wasn't "fair" that I knew.
Clear point of "make sure new potentials know what to expect" not being handled properly.
"Love As Thou Wilt"