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Old 01-02-2010, 07:25 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
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Originally Posted by River View Post
but the word "commitment" seems more fitting as foundational in our relationship than "goals" does.

We're committed to being honest with one another, loving one another, trying to be kind and loving as much as we can.
I know this is not going to be a popular statement and I fully believe that it is a function of conditioning and not wiring but I have such a hard time with the concept of "commitment" within non-monogamous relationships. This is probably one of the areas that I feel the least grounded in. I have a tendency to find peace in concepts through internalizing which means my personal work continues.

When I say I have a hard time accepting the term commitment I don't mean to imply that people can't commit to loving each other or caring for each other. I think of it from the perspective of public declarations.

How does this affect my relationship? Certainly in the area of ceremonies or public declarations of our union.
Trust me I know this concept sounds bizarre but I am so "conditioned" to see commitment in the traditional church going monogamous sense that I have a hard time focusing on it from any other perspective and need to hold on the concrete things for stability.

This is a total hi-jack LOL! I have been internalizing the concept of commitment for a long time and continue to look at it as it applies to the external declarations. hijacking continues LOL!! I think there is another thread about this. Sorry!!

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Monogamy might just be in my genes

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