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Old 01-02-2010, 06:51 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
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Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
goals aren't compatible, then eventually it's going to lead to tension which brings in lots of other negative things.
Goals are probably the most influential part of relationship success. I think this is probably the area that sometimes causes confusion between people as they discuss success in relationships. At it's very simplest we can say that a monogamous relationship was successful if both partners live there lives with the general principles of monogamy; sexual exclusivity and then death LOL! This is a very simplistic take on success but is the core of traditional vows and the overall concept of monogamy.

Multi-partner relationships are much more fluid and diverse in individual expectations I find. There is no one simplistic criteria to base a successful relationship. The "time" factor is very different for people. A two month relationship can be completely fulfilling, a lifelong network of loves can also be successful, a polyfi group that raises children and builds finances and homes could be successful.

Goals are the foundation of any relationship. What does each person want out of the relationship, is it possible and are the differences within the individuals surmountable by the mutual desire to achieve goals?

Yet again I find myself having one of those moments where a simple concept is re-awakened. Through this I find renewed acceptance and a sense of community...nice thread.


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