good evening, TN...
I am new to this site and have just read your complete thread. For the last two years my husband was you. I have had a bf for the last two years, and I can say none of this is easy..my husband was feeling things that you are feeling, and was on dating sites as well.
The one thing I can tell you for sure is the key to all of this is communication. My husband and I talk it out, sometimes until 6am..we both decided on this journey together, however it is not always easy. My bf and husband are friends, good friends now. It took time..and now my husband has entered into a relationship with a woman. AND now this is new to me lol. I am not used to being the one at home alone. I as well am facing new challenges, my bf and I have a 2 hour distance between us, my husband new gf wants more time with him, sometimes when he is sees her I am home alone day or night. As well my bf has a wife (they are in a open marriage). So there will always be some little hiccup, it is how you deal with it that matters. I go to work, go the gym keep busy so I am not feeling insecure..it is hard...I think this site is great, reading everyone posts, feeling like we are not alone...keep your head held high..and keep going..and keep writing..