Adjusting to a Poly life
My name is Lola. I am 21 years old and have been married for a little over a year to a man named George. He and I have a daughter and a son on the way. We have recently entered into a polyamorous relationship with Jaymie, who was one of my friends for a few years, and in the beginning everything was great. Sure we have had our share of problems, like any relationship, and we are doing our best to deal with them in a healthy way, but not everything turns out the way we hope.
I have been having trouble adjusting to my husband and my girlfriend having their individual side of the relationship, and I am not 100% sure why. I have no problem with them spending time together when I am there and no problem with them being intimate as long as I am present, even if I am not participating. He and I have a decent sex life, but she and I are still trying to adjust to having sex with just each other by learning what the other one likes and just becoming comfortable with the female body because this is both of our first female on female relationship. I really wish that I knew how to deal with my jealousy as far as their being together. There is a part of me that is afraid that they may one day decide that they do not need to be with me anymore and that they just want each other, but I am not sure that is the only reason. When we began to consider having just a threesome, the idea of having a three person relationship was never even a thought. Originally they both wanted to be with me and were with each other to make me happy. I am a little jealous of how quickly they fell in love with each other and grew together, and I feel a bit like I am getting left behind.
I know that these feelings are causing a wedge in our relationship and eventually they will get tired of it. I have tried dealing with it and desensitizing myself to the thoughts of them having a great time without me, but it still isn't getting any better. I do not want to lose them or the relationship because I love them both so very much.
Has anyone ever been in a situation like this and would be willing to offer some advice as to how to overcome jealousy or how to deal with these emotions in a positive way that will not destroy my relationship? Any thoughts would be much appreciated.