Originally Posted by TiMCbyats
Personally, when I read something like "male, straight", I just puke, for me that's the end of conversation, even if it has never started. For me, people that belong to the 'norm' are just disgusting.
Your reaction saddens me. If someone who´s male and straight [straight in its usual connotation - in discussions like this one - of heterosexual] "admits" to being male and straight, WHY should that disgust you? I´ve looked at your profile. According to that, you´re male. No more information, so I don´t know whether you´re
a) straight, but refuse to define yourself as "male, straight" because it´s the ACT of labelling oneself that disgusts you;
b) gay and are disgusted by straights;
c) bi and are disgusted by people who limit their sexuality to one sex;
d) either gay or bi and what disgusts you is that straight males are (generally) the people who call the shots in this society. (Though that is a VERY different thing from the "norm".)
"Norm": what is normal (average or the majority, depending on one´s definition). Since there are more female [humans] on this planet than male ones, surely "female" is more the norm than "male"?
Since I have no more information about you, let me make contradictory "suppositions" and see where each one leads us:
1) You´re human, male and a U.S. citizen. This puts you in THE most powerful, oppressive, destructive group of living beings on this planet. You make me puke. I refuse to continue conversing with you.
2) You´re human, male and - although not a U.S. citizen - you´re white. This puts you in a wider, less concentrated version of THE most powerful, oppressive, destructive group of living beings on this planet. You make me puke. I refuse to continue conversing with you.
3) You´re human, male and non-white. This puts you in THE most popülous group of human beings on this planet... bar the female non-whites. And males are generally more oppressive to females than vice versa. So YOU´RE the oppressive norm!!! You make me puke. I refuse to continue conversing with you.
4) You´re an incredibly intelligent non-human male animal, who´s mastered how to handle a computer AND express yourself [relatively] coherently. You non-human animals outnumber us humans by a factor of many millions. You´re the norm! You make me puke. I refuse to continue conversing with you.
5) You´re actually female and lied on your profile. You´re a LIAR!!! You make me puke. I refuse to continue conversing with you.
This forum, this web-site is about supporting other people who´ve made an often uncomfortable, difficult choice: to live a poly life; to include and cherish monos who are in love with polys; to offer information to "outsiders" who are curious... or nervous of "getting wet" in the poly pool. It distresses me to see blanket rejections of ANYONE because of their sex, their sexual orientation, or their sexual 3-D relationship-configurations.
I have a confession to make, but I first want to make clear that this confession is NOT why I replied as I have. It was NOT about defending people like myself. Exactly the opposite: it was about NOT attacking those who are different from ourselves. Having said that, here comes the confession:
I´m male [not by choice], I´m straight [not by choice], I´m white [not by choice]. OK, OK, I make you puke. I´ll just have to live with that. But I´ll tell you something, Mate: I´m one of the LEAST normal people that I know. Teenagers laugh at me on the streets, toddlers stare / gaze at me [I like to think that it´s because they´re amazed to see an unfamiliar adult male who´s so interested in them as human beings], 4-to-8-year-olds are sometimes wary to begin with then climb all over me, my friends rib me [affectionately, I HOPE!!!] Adult strangers who have never picked up a hitch-hiker in their lives tell me: "You´ve got an honest face, hop in!" and take me 100s of km on our common way... then THANK me for the experience of sharing each other´s company.
I might make some people just puke, that's the end of conversation, even if it has never started. I may be disgusting... but I am NOT "norm"!!!