Welcome to our forum.
I pretty much agree with ThatGirlInGray: Timetables and milestones have to be set. If that doesn't happen, then you really have to decide if this is something you can live with for the rest of your life.
Basically your husband is not acting reasonable. But, emotions are not always reasonable. So, I guess he feels what he feels. Perhaps there's some way to probe deeper and find out why he's acting this way. There may be more going on here than meets the eye.
I hope things work out well for you.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"