It sounds like knowing what happens between them is important to you.
Maybe you should negotiate this with him, how much is he willing to tell you about what happens? How much do you need to know. Note need, not want.
Would you feel better if you heard him say "we had sex"? Would it just hurt more? I think you should play that out in your head a few times.
John and I have negotiated what we tell and that has changed as our relationship grew, at first, he needed to know everything, now a "we had sex" is sufficient. Me, I never wanted more than "we had sex" and I dont even need that now, though he tells me usually.
If this is important, you need to talk about it.
- For the pursuit of happiness, not the sit around and wait for happiness -
Jen - bi female
John (Juntas)- husband
M - John's girlfriend