so many things I wanna say
Graviton, cannot even begin to imagine how devasting something like that can feel. Wish there were words that could convery the heartfelt feelings of sympathy I have for you during this difficult time. There are also so many words swirling in my mind of what seem like would be helpful hints to try and make the situation tolerable and then livable and then hopefully enjoyable: but right now it's too early, feelings are too raw.
When you're ready, have a little more mind working than raw emotions leading, I and I'm sure many more on this forum will be here for you. Until then you have the virtual hug I'm sending you and my earlier posts in this thread reminding you that you really are a good man and with time things will get better (even if it doesn't feel that way this moment.)
And even though it's probably hard on the kids, I'm so glad you have them; feel and find comfort in their unconditional love. Since you are a good man (as opposed to a lesser evolved guy) I have every faith that you will put their well being and feelings of security and love above your own turmoil. Hope you'll find they can help soothe the burning anger, frustration and pain. They are your special gift/silver lining that comes from the union regardless of whether that union stays together or not.
You are not alone.