So you and BF made this agreement for open relationship to accomodate casual sex:
- Traveling hook ups, ok.
- Less comfortable with the guy being from this city but would still give permission.
- No exes and no one from work.
After trying it on for a while you find:
- as time wears on I'm having to admit to myself that I'm not interested in casual sex!
You now want to explore this:
I would just LOVE to have Mr Old Flame as my occasional lover, someone to connect with and party with and have that new sexual energy feeling with. Someone I can truly love but not make future life plans with. My feelings for him go quite deep but his reserved arm's-length nature means I wouldn't leave my BF for him. I'm quite confident of this.
If this is what you want and you cannot ethically have that under those current agreements?
You could ask BF his willingness to entertain discussion about your new wants and see if new agreements can be made with BF or not.
IF yes, yay.
If no, you are at a new choice:
- Choose to honor the current agreements and stick with BF and let go of this new want.
- Choose to go with the new want, and let go of the BF and the agreements.
Not all the choices are as fun to feel, but going with "up front honest" could serve you here as you navigate your choices.