As I'm sure many others have, I gave my ideal relationship structure a great deal of thought back in the days when I was theoretically polyamorous but not actively engaged in multiple partner relationships.
Then reality and experience showed up and, as they are wont to do, blew my theories out of the water
The evolution of my ideal has found it shifting from specifics about form to more generalities about content.
10 years ago when I began this journey, I wouldn't have imagined calling someone with whom I share a deep and intimate love bond but not a physical relationship one of my closest partners.
I do now.
5 years ago, after that experience thing had come into play a few times, I was reluctant to consider joining my heart with a partner who already had another partner. Having lived through some of the pitfalls that can be associated with that sort of structure, I was loathe to gamble with my love again.
Turns out it was the best risk I ever took.
At this stage of my life, the only real ideal that I still cling to from those early days is one in which everyone with whom I share love in any form is comfortable, content and secure enough in our relationships to be able to be happily together in the same space, at the same time.
And I'm pretty much living that right now, so is it technically still an ideal?