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Old 01-24-2013, 11:10 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 2,133

Originally Posted by InsaneMystic View Post
[FONT="Georgia"][COLOR="Purple"]@Schrödinger & redpepper...
It sure is possible for sexual orientations to change, but it really isn't common. Yes, you can "become asexual"... but you can also be gay for 30 years and then suddenly "become straight". The fact that a lot of (normative/right winger) folks will more than happily jump at the chance to consider this a cue for all the "see, we can heal you and turn you normal! you just haven't found the right one yet!" talkage is the reason why I don't think it's a too productive idea, in terms of acceptance and visibility of non-heteronormative identities, to be too quick to mention fluidity of orientation. Yes, it exists, but in most cases, it's a too marginal phenomenon to be brought up without creating much more trouble than it's worth.]
This statement really bothers me. First of all, it's just wrong. Many people experience and understand their sexuality as fluid. I identified as a lesbian for many years. Currently I date men and identify as bisexual/pansexual. I know many people like me. There is social pressure against acknowledging sexual fluidity from within gay communities and from heterosexual people. So many folks rarely talk openly about how their sexuality had changed over time. Dan Savage encourages bisexual people to come out - in part to show that het and homo are far from the only points on the continuum. The existence of bisexuals, asexuals, demisexuals, pansexuals and queers and other undefined folks highlights the fact that it's a continuum. As more people encounter and understand that sexuality can be fluid, more are being open about it. For example there are more men being more open about being bisexual.

Second, it is wrong to allow people like right wing fundamentalist to set the parameters of what is marginal. These people don't 'believe' in evolution, think the earth is 6000 years old and preventing any meaningful action in global warming. They are anti-science, anti-reason and can't find a fact with both hands if one should happen to hit them in the ass. Not talking about fluidity or other uncomfortable, uncommon topics gives these irresponsible, dangerous people too much power. Stop it.

Finally I resent being called marginal. I don't know anyone who identifies as asexual. Not even demisexual. I didn't realize for a long time that such folks exist. I was ignorant and once I heard the term I've learned about it and try to keep in mind that someone I know or meet could be asexual. For me, asexual are marginal in my life. But they exist. Not talking about them or dismissing them as a tiny minority is not useful. In fact it could be actually dangerous if this silence prevents someone from learning a critical fact about themselves.

I realize you had no intention of making this personal. You are not saying anything many gay rights people have also said. And obviously I have strong feelings about it.
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