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Old 01-24-2013, 07:49 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Originally Posted by InsaneMystic View Post
[FONT="Georgia"]@Schrödinger & redpepper...
It sure is possible for sexual orientations to change, but it really isn't common. Yes, you can "become asexual"... but you can also be gay for 30 years and then suddenly "become straight". The fact that a lot of (normative/right winger) folks will more than happily jump at the chance to consider this a cue for all the "see, we can heal you and turn you normal! you just haven't found the right one yet!" talkage is the reason why I don't think it's a too productive idea, in terms of acceptance and visibility of non-heteronormative identities, to be too quick to mention fluidity of orientation. Yes, it exists, but in most cases, it's a too marginal phenomenon to be brought up without creating much more trouble than it's worth.
I don't disagree that discussing orientation fluidity can have that effect on ignorant people. But frankly, the social responsibility is on those normative/right winger folks to pull their heads out of their asses. The solution is not to stifle all the people who don't fit into neat little boxes. If I didn't have the self-esteem that I do, I might take that as you telling me not to express myself, and that would probably hurt my feelings.

I have friends who are gender fluid and identify more as a male or female or neutral depending on where they are in life at the time. Does that mean they should stifle their identity as gender fluid just to avoid causing problems for trans* folks, who might be told "Look, this person used to feel like she was a boy, but now she feels like a girl. Just wait it out and you'll feel like a girl again." ?

But perhaps it's more accurate, then, to say that my orientation "is" something like "a/sexually fluid" (I don't know what asexual equivalent would be of gender fluid). I.e. it's not my "orientation" that changes, that would always be "fluid" ... but that means sometimes I'm a sexual and sometimes I'm an asexual. I don't know, I haven't thought about it that way before. I'm definitely going to give it some thought. Sorta like how a gender fluid person always "is gender fluid" and sometimes "feels more like a male" or "feels more like a female."

What I am going to say is this: It's not that I bring it up every time someone talks about asexuality, nor do I have a tendency of bringing up orientation fluidity whenever people talk about sexual orientation in general. I recognize that the majority of people who identify as asexual have always identified that way, and can't imagine ever identifying otherwise. But in this case, someone explicitly said "Asexual orientation cannot change." I had to pipe in that this was not always the case. As much as I agree with not giving the extreme Right more fodder for discrimination, I also don't want anyone to feel like they're "wrong" in feeling that their orientation is fluid, and feeling like they "have to choose" one or the other.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.

Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 01-24-2013 at 08:03 PM.
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