Originally Posted by Marcus
When people have direct say in how another grown person behaves, that is agreed authoritarianism (in that it is not a forced situation). Rules about when they need to be informed of new lovers, rules about meeting and "approving" new lovers, rules about how many nights per week each person gets, the list is exhausting.
For me, this is really the discussion that most people are having on these boards, but it is almost never identified as such. The issue revolves around how a person views interacting with romantic partners and how much responsibility they take for their own feelings; and whether they live by "right or permission". Most advice I have seen is centered on "how to deal with your partner" when really, the only valuable advice is "how to manage your own emotions and make healthy decisions for yourself". My partners do as they will, I am not their boss, and this is the primary distinguishing characteristic between relationship styles; not the incidental factor of how many people you choose to love.
This. Yes. Thank you Marcus! This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately.
early forties, straight.
the guys: Ren - husband; Brig - very new bf; Knight - non-sexual bf; MrBrown - it's complicated; Scin - dating, taking it slow
Ren's girls: Lou - gf of 2 years, Mon - very new gf
There are as many forms of love as there are moments in time. Jane Austen