I have read all your threads.
You are 18 years old. You went from your family to living with this couple.
I have only one piece of advice for you:
Go out into the world and be on your own. Live on your own or with room mates, but not with people who you are in a romantic/sexual relationship with. Get to know yourself. Better yet: Don't be in any romantic/sexual relationship until you've been on your own for a while. Get help, counseling, therapy, to help you get to know yourself. Have the courage to be alone.
And while I am sorry for you that you are hurting about the miscarriage.. please, I really hope you don't even think about having a baby until you are in a better place.
early forties, straight.