I agree with you Gala.
I wrote this all out in a journal to wrap my mind around it and somehow thought it would be a good idea to post and ask for advice. I regret it now, because I know everything I've done wrong and I know he has every right to every action he has made.
I should have kept these thoughts to myself until I processed them in my own mind a little longer. Instead I aired not only my dirty laundry but my husband's and boyfriend's as well to a forum. That was not fair of me.
I appreciate the feedback and you are more than right in all your comments. I'd appreciate if I could be allowed a momentary lapse in judgement and pretend I never posted this. I was wrong.