Well, you can have whatever personal standard you want in your relationships. The other person will have their own standard for themselves.
You are both free to come together, sort it out among yourselves, and come to SHARED agreements for how to be together and what standard to hold each other to in relationship if you decided to be together.
You are both there of your own free will, right? It's not like you are FORCED to be in relationship together.
The answer to your own personal happiness in relationship with your person probably lies somewhere in finding the balance between
- a) Having a high enough standard to weed out crazies and users and weirdies. (Too low a standard might mean more possible dating partners but of what quality? Who need needs crazy drama in their life from crazy drama people? Ack! )
- b) Having the standard be realistic and reasonable and actually doable and attainable. Not a high and lofty one that is just not possible at all.
- c) Being willing for your partner to hold you to the same agreed to standard. No "double standard" monkey business where they have to do it but you are the exception.
- d) Being willing to hold your partner accountable to the same agreed to standard. No "doormat" business where they tromp all over you.
- e) Being willing to end it peacefully if it turns out not to be a runner after all at the starting gate or it has run its course over time and come to a natural end. No trying to make a thing that just will not GO fruther, go further than it can.
Glad the questions helped you sort some. I hope things get better over there.