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Old 01-23-2013, 11:06 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
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"When I meet this guy tonight, should I tell him that W and I are not having sex, or should I leave that for W and me to work on? I feel the NRE between them is at least partially responsible for that, but should I mention it at all? I don't want to seem controlling, but at the same time I don't want him to think I'm perfectly fine with the status quo, because at this time my own physical and emotional needs are not being met."
I think it would be fair enough to tell him, "Not everything is great between me and my wife." But be careful about something that could be interpreted as, "I'd really rather you not be involed with my wife." Unless that's actually how you feel. Misunderstandings/misinterpretations can happen easily, especially in a we-just-met conversation.

"This guy's divorce is almost final, although I've heard his W is dragging her feet lately getting some things done about that. Should I talk to him about that, or should I leave that alone?"
That seems like something that should be brought up if it naturally comes up in the conversation. Let him make the call on what should be talked about in some areas.

Jane Q gave a lot of good advice. I'll echo that. I'll also suggest that maybe it would make it too complicated to "over-plan" the conversation you have with this guy. Let some things come up as they will, and try not to "force the topics." People have organic relationships; they can't always be fitted to a blueprint.

Good luck on your upcoming meeting with this guy.
Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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