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Old 01-23-2013, 06:33 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552

Originally Posted by GSAS082612 View Post
I want people to tell me where I could be wrong in the situation, where I am right. How it could be fixed, if there is any “fixing” needed at all or even if I am plain out being “over-emotional.”
Okay. Here goes, though you may not want to hear it:


You are not being over-emotional (not here, anyway. Maybe you are there, I don't know, but your needs are expressed fairly reasonably here.)

There is fixing needed, but YOU can't do it. You have already been trying. THEY have to fix it, by considering your needs as equal to theirs, rather than less important.

Yes, it certainly sounds like they have a lot of issues to work on in their marriage, and a pregnancy is just going to make everything harder, emotionally and schedule-wise. YOU can not do anything about this. It's on THEM.

And I know you don't want to hear this either, but no matter how mature you are, you are a very young adult. You do not have much life experience yet. Hell, I'm twice you age and sometimes I don't know what to do either! I am so, so sorry you had to go through a miscarriage. I've been through one also, so I understand somewhat. But this statement:
not having a chance to have my own family.
doesn't make sense to me. Unless there were further issues because of or after your miscarriage, you have YEARS left to have a family. Even if you can't have biological children, you can adopt in the future if you so choose. So you will have chances. You maybe don't have chances RIGHT NOW, and I certainly understand the sadness, jealousy, and guilt that could arise from watching her pregnancy, but consider this: are you perhaps working under the false belief that having a child would have "fixed" things? It wouldn't have. You'd be even more alone. Having a child does not magically make people consider your needs if they weren't inclined to before.

So, to restate, here is what you're doing wrong: you're staying. You're letting them treat you in a way that is not healthy, and rather than leaving them to your drama you're staying to participate in it.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I've watched you post a lot of the same stuff over and over since you joined. In my opinion it needed to be flat-out said, since other responses don't seem to have gotten through.
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
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