I joined long ago when I was in a triad with a wonderful and loving couple. I truly don't remember the last time I posted or what it was about. However, I am not with them anymore though we have remained great friends.
I started writing a damn novel, so I erased it and started over...and ended up with a novel anyways. Sory.
Facts About Now:
I am 31, marrried, and have a 17 month old son with my husband.
Last month, saw a photo of a an old flame whom I've either been in love with or been limerent for (or both? I don't know how that works yet) for over 4 years (known him for over 5 years).
Previously, LO had been married and he and I carried on a FWB affair. I'm not proud.
I was upset about the picture. I had no right to be upset. Then I was guilty for being upset.
I realized the picture was over a year old and that LO had broken up with that girl.
I contacted LO and discussed a poly V relationship. I also re-discussed this with my husband who was understanding as always and knows about how I feel regarding LO.
LO is not convinced and said it was unfair to ask him to be committed to me sexually when I had another man. I told him I was not looking for just sex, but a second relationship.
He asked for details about the future which I cannot provide.
I have to ask, is it really unfair of me to expect LO to be committed to me? Or is the fairness of the situation in the eye of the beholder? Closed V's exist, right?
The fact is I feel if LO doesn't commit, then he will find someone else and leave the relationship to be committed to someone else and I will be broken-hearted as I always was with him when he was married. He dated a girl. I can assume he was committed to her. He told me he thought at the time that he was in love with her. She was not as open-minded as I am (something which LO says he likes about me).
I read that men with mistresses do thing with the other woman that they would never do with their wife, even though the wife may be willing to do it. However, the acts may be thought to be degrading in the man's mind so he would never do that with his wife, mother of his children, whom he loves and respects. So he does it with someone he does not have those feelings for. I worry that since LO has already had me as a mistress and knows I'm a bit kinky that he may never be able to love me or respect me.
I'm rambling. My questions are above.