re-read post maybe understand better
Re-reading your last post: now understanding that perhaps you've been encouraged to be a "full" parent to the other children but are finding it too painful with the probable possibility of never having your own biological child to add?
It's obviously very painful and I wish I could offer a way to help through the pain. Will hope the joy of a child; now really also your child as well, will keep your love for Scarlet close and I'd fancy Scarlet loves that you can/will share that same sort of love with the other children of your heart.
Please forgive the possible first mis-interpretation and my best wishes of health & happiness to you and your family.