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Old 01-23-2013, 03:51 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,285

Originally Posted by GSAS082612 View Post
Personally, I knew that it wouldn't be comepletely equal but shutting me out completely STILL sucks. And I still feel left out.
That is completely fair. Needing time to themselves? Needing to put more emphasis right now on shoring up their marriage? Fair enough, totally reasonable. Needing to put a hold on physical intimacy? A very touchy, extreme thing to do, but... ok, I could see maybe trying to work with that. My gf and I put a hold on physical intimacy for a whole year while she was pregnant... the hormones just made her need to "nest" with her partner. But she and I still had dates, we still cuddled, we still said "I love you." We didn't basically temporarily break up, which it sounds like is what you feel like has happened.

So, you're living with them and they're taking care of you financially? That's a tough position. Do you have the ability to get some more income coming in for yourself to prepare for the possibility of moving out? You wouldn't necessarily need to end the relationship in that case, but having some more independence would probably be a really healthy thing for you, and for this triad, if it's to continue. For your own mental health, you may need to remove yourself from the position of being "on hold" and being their free babysitter while you watch them work on their relationship. What an emotionally difficult position to be in, but also unavoidable as long as you're dependent on them, and they feel that it's what they absolutely need (though you'd really think there should be *some* flexibility there from them??).

Another good link:
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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