I have made it clear how I feel, I'm not entirely sure they understand. But yes, I do feel left out. And it needs to change, I have made THAT much clear and then Glenn gives me the same old lecture of "we warned you it was going to be off for awhile and it's going to be hard soemtimes and i'm going to need more Sam and I times and we will have you watch Jocelynn" and as much as I am "ok" with watching the kid, I really don't like that I am not getting anytime with this relationship. >.> And GG I get exactly what you mean by saying one thing but doing another. But I don't want to lose them. But I don't want to seem vulnerable or even their "toy." What I want the most of this polyship is fair time with each other as well as time as a polyship. I want my needs to be met as well as I want to meet theirs. But I refuse to bend over backwards to make them happy 24/7. I need to be happy too.
Heiarchal Polyfidelity is not my idea of being in a relationship... AT ALL. I agree with "absolute terror". I don't like that the fact that NONE of my needs are being met, and I hate that they don't see to want to try. However, I am still doing my best to make them happy because I came into this relationship wanting a relationship not a babysitting night job. I appreciate all they do for me but JUST because they clothe-feed- drive and provide for me, It doesn't mean that this isn't a relationship still. As I told GG, I don't mind but I don't like that its ALL I am doing.
Personally, I knew that it wouldn't be comepletely equal but shutting me out completely STILL sucks. And I still feel left out.
Yeah, pretty much I am pretty resentful for the situation. And I have explained what I feel. And what certain things need to happen in order for me to stay but I get a lecture on and on about them "warning me". I don't know. I am completely pissed off and would appreciate getting my relationship on track before I got removed myself from the poly-ship. But yes, the ball is in their court, and they made the decision of A. But still I'm NOT getting that time I desperately need to feel loved and cared for, wanted and needed. Sexual satisfaction can be cancelled out, but still I need to know I am here for more than just sex. They both tell me I am, but I am not so sure.