Thank you very much Tonberry. You're right, I hadn't taken that into consideration, about people coming here because something isn't quite working. That may very well explain the impression I was getting.
Perhaps if I rephrase my question...is there any specific place on this site I should look to find something like a Poly Mapquest for relationships? I know it sounds lame, but I just want to know what the road ahead might be most likely to look like. Maybe people are all too different for that to be a reasonable request. Maybe thinking that if I just prepare well enough, I can avoid some pitfalls is Pollyanna thinking. This seems to be one of those areas where the more you learn, the more you realize how little you know. But thank you for helping me out anyway!