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Old 01-22-2013, 07:06 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is online now
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 10,572

"Were you monogamous when your relationship started, or were you the addition?"
I was the addition. Technically I had my own spouse, but she was pretty far down the road of Alzheimer's, so she didn't really comprehend what was happening. Pretty sad. I was mostly a caregiver rather than a husband. My two poly companions kind of swooped in and rescued us.

"We first got together (as a Vee) in 2006. It took til 2009 or 2010 for things to really start smoothing out."
That's a bit scary. Right now, my Vee is a bit volatile."
It's a gradual process. It gets easier a little at a time, with lots of bumps and ups and down along the way. The bumps gradually get smaller and smoother. The ups and downs gradually level out. It takes patience and a lot of love, but the eventual result is worth it.

"Even though it was my husband that opened me up to the idea, now he's dealing with his insecurities and fears. I'm trying to be as understanding and patient as I possibly can, but there have been some tough developments that I will address in another post. Any advice you have on that post when I get it up will be appreciated!"
Pass on a link to that new post/thread when you get it up. I'll help out however I can.

"I went through my own cocktail of mood meds over the years, but I got to the point where I didn't feel they were actually helping me much. Took a while to wean off them, too, but it seems to be working for me. Still, it seems there's nothing like the swing of emotions while trying to work out how to live with unconditional love."
Yes, it can be hard on everyone. And it's often a mystery what will fix the problem. Some people do well on meds, some need other solutions. As with so many things in poly, there's a lot of trial and error involved.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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