Originally Posted by graviton
Well both my wife and his wife have been present during our interactions, they have never once told me I was overly harsh, bullying, disrespectful or anything. They have only told me that they admire how gentle I am. Reading my frustration on a forum and actually seeing our interactions are two different things.
Given all you've said about him here, and trying to imagine you speaking with him for hours, regarding him as inflexible for not loving the thought of his wife with another man, and the idea that you're being 'gentle' with him...I'm imagining a man who's feeling very condescended to; who gets the feeling he's being treated like a foolish child who's a little bit slow and can't quite GET IT and stop being difficult but everyone is being oh-so-patient with him, nonetheless.
I'm not there, I don't know you or him, but from your own descriptions, it's very easy to believe this may be how it feels to him.