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Old 01-22-2013, 03:39 AM
GSAS082612 GSAS082612 is offline
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Laveen, AZ
Posts: 37

JQS: I do not have any children, I was wishing I did, and I truly do. And I was more okay with Sam's pregnancy when we were trying but now, not so much. Because now with us not trying there are NO chances of me having my own baby. And because Glenn doesn't want to bring our children into it, it bothers me that Sam's and his are being brought into the world, despite his protest with me. So, again, it hurts. I'm just frustrated that she has one already, a little girl I love, but is not my own. And it hurts to see how close Sam is to her daughter, and she will be like that with her son and it hurts to see her have what I want so desperately. Although yes, I do feel guilty when I cannot do all the things an involved "spouse" should do when prepping for a child. I just do not have the enough emotional security to be able to make the way through the pain. I'm trying to prep for the baby which is a few weeks away, but it kills me to know that I don't have that, and won't until Glenn allows it.

SC: I wish it was easy to just close my self away from the pain but I can't. It would make the pain go away because I'd be neglecting the truth of how much it all hurts. And it hurts me.
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