HELP... I feel like I need a holiday from my emotions!!
I need some help with learning how to balance my emotions. I am in an open relationship with a guy who is poly, before him I have only ever been in mono relationships. I've had a year if getting my head around the fact that he will alway have several playmates & just as I'm getting a grip of that, he invited me to meet one of his girls who he thinks I will bond with. We are at the very early stages of a new poly relationship, the three of us.. But I am really struggling with my jealousy, fear of loss & wanting to keep my primary status. They have already said "I love you" to eachother, which after such a short time just makes his "I love you" to me feel devalued. He says that eventually he would love if we all become equal & move in together. To me, that feels threatening. I have earned my place & am not willing to step back & let this girl become my equal. Is this the wrong way to be looking at it??
So even though I feel I could love her, I have days where I am completely insecure, jealous & want her to disappear... Then other days when I feel like this could be beautiful. I am aware that I am gaining a relationship, but all I can focus on is that I now have to share him emotionally..
Instead of letting go & nurturing MY relationship with her, I get angry that she has appeared & now my relationship with my man had to change.
It feels like everyday, my emotions are going round in circles & so are our conversations. It is draining & I wish I could let go.
Can anyone give me some magical advice??