Originally Posted by soleilselene
I have no idea is this is considered poly or not. But that is my situation.
I've always felt it's much more important to establish your own personal situation than to worry about whether it is considered poly or not. It is what it is. If it's working for you, and you've established clear boundaries and agreements between you and your husband, and both of you are comfortable with those agreements, then the label is irrelevant.
When I was young, I started preparing a recipe for cookies. I started by mixing sugar, butter, and eggs. Then I licked the spoon. It was yummy. My mom called it custard. So I spent the next 6 years thinking I liked custard. That ended the day a friend made me real custard. It was disgusting. I was so confused. According to my mom, I loved custard! So now what? Do I stop enjoying sugar, butter, and eggs, and try to develop a taste for custard? Or do I acknowledge that custard was never really what I enjoyed and that my mom had mixed up her labels?
Labels have a place. That place is the supermarket. Relationships are not cookies. Relationships don't need labels; they need understanding, communication, and agreement.