What's wrong with your son watching porn? Humans are sexual creatures. If he's watching porn, then obviously he's grown interested in sex. You've had sex, haven't you? It's fun. Can you blame him?
Your only mistake was trusting him not to be human. How silly of you.
I wholeheartedly disagree with the notion that sex should be reserved for marriage. What a horrible way to ruin your wedding night!
Not to mention, anyone who thinks that teaching abstinence is an effective way of preventing...anything...is kidding themselves. Teach kids about condoms. Teach them what happens when you don't use condoms. Give them condoms. Give their friends and romantic partners condoms when they come to visit. Teach them about the joys of sex and encourage them to explore their bodies. Teach them the value of self-worth and that it's ok to share their bodies, but only on their own terms.
By teaching kids abstinence, you literally force them to figure that out on their own and from their often misguided friends. You teach them to hide it from you when they become sexually active, for fear of getting in trouble or disappointing you.
When she started hitting puberty, my husband sat his daughter down and told her every pickup line he'd ever used to trick a girl into having sex with him. Then he gave her a vibrator and a box of condoms. When she started experimenting with her female friends, he encouraged them to explore their bodies without guilt or fear. Later, when she started having sex with boyfriends, guess which parent she told? I'll give you a hint: it wasn't the one who tried to hide the truth about sex.
She's about to turn 20 and has managed not to become pregnant or contract any diseases. Meanwhile, many of her friends are teen parents. She lives in a repressed semi-rural town. I credit my husband 100% for his daughter's success. She has a healthy relationship with sex, she knows what she wants and what she doesn't, she respects her body. She chooses partners who respect her choices and sends them packing if they pressure her. Oh, and she talks with us (my husband and I, not her Mom) about all of this. Sex-positive parenting FTW!
Also... how do you know that your son has only a vague idea? Kids are much more clever than their parents tend to give them credit for. The only way you could "know" that he doesn't know is by asking him, which is impossible to do without spilling the beans. How can you be sure no one else knows, and that he hasn't heard it through the grapevine. Would you rather your son learn about your relationships from his parents, or from the kids at school teasing him about it?
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).
The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 01-22-2013 at 01:45 AM.