Thread: Thank You!
View Single Post
  #4  
Old 01-22-2013, 12:48 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,449
Default

Welcome to the forum!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Starseed View Post
My parents did a smart thing in that they knew they wanted to raise all of us eight kids outside the influence of the the basic distorted societal and cultural structures. So, I was raised not with the notion that I could or could not do certain things but instead knowing that it was I that determined what was appropriate for me. Very little programming involved, i.e. - good/bad, right/wrong.
I was also raised with a lot of love which has been my guiding light my entire lifetime.
I, too, was raised in a household that very much encouraged independent thinking and questioning things like "societal programming" and the roles of authority figures and contained a lot of love. My parents paid us a LOT of attention while allowing each of us to pursue our own paths and interests, while asking tons of interesting questions that lead to more questions and more discussion...I can't thank my parents enough for the childhood that they gave me.

It wasn't until my teens that I realized that most people did not have the benefit of such an upbringing.

...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Starseed View Post
Fast forward a bit and now I've been married for about 5 years. I was reading the Conversations with God books when the notion began to grow on me: It feels "right" to share each other in intimate relationships. This was 1995 to 1997. As a couple of years went by, I decided one of the ways I could approach this with my wife would be to offer that she (if she decided it was appropriate for her) contact an old high school boyfriend and put closure in their relationship that neither one of them had done to their satisfaction.

She was shocked that I would suggest such a thing! The idea did not catch on with her, but......a few years later I realized that she was indeed Bi. We made contact with a lady that lived over the pond and this gal came to meet us. The triad was not successful, but it helped both my wife and I to understand each other and ourselves much better.
Two years later we tried a triad again and it worked for about 6 months. All of us I believe learned a LOT for the experience and for me it was full of opportunity that I took advantage of.
One of the reasons the triad only lasted for as long as it did was that the lady who came to live with us was not Bi, but hetero. The passion was just not there for the two ladies.
For me, it was the early influence of reading LOTS of Heinlein (in my pre-teens) - not that he used the term "polyamory" but the concept that love didn't need be limited to TWO people is all through many of his works.

It was actually my (now) husband who pointed out to me that I was bisexual. It's amusing to me now that, although I had heard the word, it never occurred to me to apply it to myself until he pointed it out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Starseed View Post
Believe it or not, I had no idea until about one week ago there was even a term of "Poly" :-) I just knew that sharing was what was "right" for me because for me; my Love grows the more I share it with others and nurture it within Self.
Dude had never heard the term until I talked about it with him...yet, so much of what I was saying resonated with his own feelings and experiences that it almost a "Well, duh." reaction.l;

Quote:
Originally Posted by Starseed View Post
I have been single now for four years and for the last 2.5 years I've not dated. I'm extremely happy and at peace, but its very nice to share with others this understanding of Polyamory. I see myself in the not too distant future once again sharing my love with several others.
I am glad that you have been happy and at peace. May your journey continue to be fulfilling...whichever roads it takes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Starseed View Post
Thank you for listening and and being here each and everyone of you!
Thank you for joining us and sharing your story.

JaneQ
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.


My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
Reply With Quote